When Your Gifted Kids Understand The Birds & Bees

I don’t even know how to preface this conversation I overheard the kids having before school the other day. They talked for awhile, and then Isabella came to me with questions. I tried to write down the conversation we shared immediately afterward, but I’m sure I missed some of it. Here is what I remembered:

Izzy: Did you plan to have Hunter?

Me: Yes.

I: Did you plan to have me?

M: I knew the moment I met your Dad that I wanted to have kids with him…you just came a lot sooner than we expected.

I: Oh no (joking tone)…So I was a mistake?

M: I would say surprise. Not a mistake at all!

Hunter: How does that happen by mistake or surprise?

I: There was kissing and the love swept them away!

H: But don’t you have to put or touch your private parts together?

(I’m silent at this point, not sure what to add. They’ve both read age appropriate books on what sex is and what consensual touching includes, so they won’t be told lies or satisfy curiosity in inappropriate ways. I want them to know what they should know from reliable sources and know what is safe and appropriate affection.)

I: Of course.

H: Then…how does that accidentally happen?

I: Hunter, I don’t want to talk about this awkward thing anymore. It’s gross.

H: But…..just seems unlikely you could do that by mistake.

I: Hunter….there was the kissing and the touching and then instincts took over- like with animals on documentaries.

H: Oh…and then there was a baby.

I: Exactly.

Hahaha. Oh my gosh. My kids get it. They fully understand. This is what happens when your gifted kids read a book about sexuality and reproduction. My kids kept asking so many questions that I finally had them read age-appropriate books about the subject. But they took that info further, read between the lines and understand more than I thought they would. NOT a bad thing, if approached in the right way, and they seem to remain with healthy boundaries and not tooooo much information to stunt their growth, so to speak.

If your kids are asking lots of questions, (whether they’re gifted or not), I recommend these books:

  1. Sex is a Funny Word: A Book about Bodies, Feelings and You by Cory Silverburg– This book is in comic book form and deals with touching boundaries, gender identity and, yes, the definition of sex. Done in a way that is suitable for very young children (I would say age 7+), I think this is an amazing intro to being safe with your body, discovering your own body parts and identifying questions about sexuality. You can find out more here: https://www.corysilverberg.com/sex-is-a-funny-word
  2. It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health by Robie H. Harris– This book is amazing for slightly older kids. Isabella is a tween and it answered all of her questions. I was overjoyed that this book exists. The questions are in her head and she could tell I was a little uncomfortable answering them (having never had these conversations with my own parents). Instead of having her turn to her peers for answers (and probably getting the wrong answers!), I found this book. Now she has a good handle on how her body will change, feelings she may have in the future and how to handle unwanted advances. She doesn’t have to “test things out”, won’t believe lies told to her and feels confident going into puberty. Thank goodness for this book. Isabella would read some pages, then bring down the book and ask more questions. It gave me a comfortable pace to start a discussion with her. With me more relaxed, we had very healthy and awesome conversations. We borrowed it from the library but I’ll probably buy it. You can find out more here: http://robieharris.com/?page_id=186
  3. It’s Not the Stork!: A book about Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families, and Friends by Robie H. Harris– Another book by Harris that answers questions in a kid friendly way. Isabella read part of this one on her own, bringing it down if she had more questions or just wanted to discuss something with me out loud. Very amazing book that I highly recommend. Once again, you can go to her website to find out more information: http://robieharris.com/?page_id=221

Conversations about sexuality, health, puberty and gender identity are so important with your kids.

My generation never really had that- I think parents assumed what we learned in health class would be enough, but I remember having more questions afterward. With my kids, I hope that they have a healthy, well-rounded, age-appropriate understanding from reliable sources, almost before the questions fully form. With these books, we were able to open up discussion so that we could have those healthy conversations. And, as you can see from what the kids said above, I know they understand.




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