Giving Less of A F*ck.

In 2018, I’m making some changes. Not resolutions. But big changes out of necessity. My body can tell when I’m unhappy and depressed- it gives up on me. My skin gets bad, my knees give out, colds last forever, my muscles hurt and my sleep suffers. I am a mess. I am sick of being a mess. So, 2018 is going to be the year where I get my shit together, pardon my French. And you can read about it here, raw and honest and uncut.

  1. I’m solving my gut problems. Or I’m going to try. I’m redoing the Gut Makeover that was so successful for me. This time I am stretching it out as long as possible. I will do the 4 weeks. After the 4 weeks, I’ll try to add in a few grains that don’t seem to bother me, such as gluten-free oats and brown rice. I will eliminate alcohol for the remainder of the year and will severely limit the amount of sugar I eat. I will snack less and rely on meals for the year. No alcohol, less sugar, limited dairy, and limited grains. At the end of the year, I am hoping I can attempt to eat small amounts of gluten again! At the very least, I will feel good. My gut can’t worse, it can only get better. I’ll baby the crap outta it. If you have gut problems, too, then let’s do this together! I’m gonna add story after story about it on here, as it will be a tad life-consuming. Join me!
  2. I’m giving less of a f*ck. Before I think, “What does this person think of me?”, I am going to think, “Why do I care?” —not in an unkind way, not at all. Just in a self-preservation way. I think constantly about what others think of me, what I’ve said that was right or wrong in every single personal interaction, and it has become an anxious circle of self-doubt. Enough! I have been quietly working through all of 2017 to shed myself of those thoughts and I’m finally at the point where I feel that I’ve made progress. I think therapy will help this as well and I intend to look into it. I have been in therapy on and off my whole life, and it has helped immensely. I refuse to see it as a weakness to look into therapy, because it isn’t. Everyone needs help once in awhile.
  3. I’ll journal. I’ll write more. I’ll journal lists, stories, bad poetry, thoughts, everything. Writing was so cathartic for me once and it will be again.
  4. I’m going to revisit things that once brought magic to my life. I once filled my little quiet moments with magic spots of reading my fave poetry, drawing, calligraphy, daydreaming, or collages. I created beautiful things and read beautiful things. I want to do that again. I want to create every day magic. My mom gave me a gorgeous calligraphy set for Xmas- I can’t wait to create cards decorated with calligraphy, and signs and little books. My ultimate goal is to create a scrapbook full of family stories, all written in calligraphy.
  5. I will say no. No is such a hard word for me to say. Sometimes when I say it, people act hurt and shut me out. I won’t let that passive-aggressive behaviour hurt me anymore or stop me from saying no when it is absolutely necessary. I used to say yes to everything- every situation- because I thought only of pleasing other people, but it drained me: spiritually and mentally and emotionally. I just can’t do it anymore. I get actual physical symptoms from letting myself be drained like that….so I will say no, even when my insides are clenching from fear, in order to protect my own health. I will use Introvert Doodles as my inspiration for embracing my introvert self and creating boundaries.
  6. I will restore myself, physically. Parents, I know you know what I mean when I say that we give everything to our kids and think of our kids first. I always make sure my kids are covered before I think of myself. I feel selfish when I think of doing something for myself, which is silly, I know, but it is hard to pull yourself away from that. So I am going to “indulge” in massages and make sure I put fitness as a priority. I need to start doing my physiotherapy exercises since my hips and knees are bothering me again. All of this is crucial to my health and will ultimately make me a better mom. Also, baths, at-home spa days, lazy days….all of these will be important to me in 2018.
  7. Meditation. Cuz, I mean….c’mon. I know it helps. If you are on the fence about this, read 10% Happier by Dan Harris and be converted by his sarcastic witty take on it.

Lofty goals, I know, but I’m hoping to keep at least two…..I want this year to be about growth and self-discovery. I want it to be about giving less of a fuck and making myself happy.

Are you in? Let’s do this together!

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The Thing I Did to Help My Gut.

A Family That Meditates Together, Stays Together.

 

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