Dear Ryan Gosling. take a break if you wanna. I don’t know where girls got this crazy, you’re-the-only-heart throb attitude. You haven’t played a romantic character since The Notebook (which I wasn’t as crazy about as Crazy Stupid Love but have been told umpteen times to re-watch cuz apparently I missed something important).
You have played a psycho, an obsessive simpleton, a killer, a drunk, an emotionally shut off player, a criminal, a politician… and none of those roles (though thrilling) are particularly romantic. Even your brilliant band Dead Man’s Bones doesn’t write love songs, persay! You write about ghosts and zombies, graveyards and monsters. A ghost stalks a lover in their bedroom while they sleep and that’s about as close to romance as we get there. You are fearless in your choices but none of them scream chocolates, rose petals, romance and dancing in the rain.
You are an actor so I don’t think it is shallow to talk about looks. You get offered the lead actor roles and romantic parts. Girls declare you sexy and hot and smokin’ etc all the time. But let’s look at this objectively. You are not that amazing looking (I am sorry to say it!). If you weren’t an actor and I didn’t know you I don’t believe I’d look twice if I passed you on the street. You have thin lips, normal hair, small eyes set too close together, a straight and narrow nose, a wide forehead and a long face. You’re very average looking. Not bad but I wouldn’t spill my coffee distractedly all over myself if you glanced at me on the street.
This is not the reason girls find you attractive. In my belief, it is more because you are brilliant.
When I only knew you through photographs, before I saw any of your movies, I didn’t get the attraction and the hype. At all. I didn’t get the national (world-wide?) obsession.
But then I saw an interview and you were so damn confident and NICE and saw acting as just a job, like any job. Down to earth. That’s the word. You were confident but down-to-earth. And I thought, maybe I should see if this dude is good at his job. And I saw The Notebook. And I thought, “meh”, any one could do that role. But then- OH THEN- I saw “Lars and The Real Girl” and man- OH MAN you can ACT. I barely recognized you, you were so in to the role. You were INCREDIBLE. “Blue Valentine”,” Crazy, Stupid, Love” (Cuz I will watch literally ANYTHING with Steve Carell in it), and “Drive” followed. Very different roles and all acted so impeccably that I finally got it. I got the attraction. You, Mr Ryan Gosling, are crazy, stupid, talented. I forgot it was you in those roles. You are a chameleon.
Your band. Dead Man’s Bones. Very unexpected. Your song “Lose Your Soul” is intoxicating. You call yourself “Baby Goose” on stage so we know you have a sense of humour.
Your confidence, your talent, your humour, your great sense of style, your down-to-earthedness…. all of these things make you one of the hottest men on earth. It shines from the inside out.
Lately every girl is going in to mourning because it is rumoured (nothing is confirmed yet I think) that you are taking a break from acting. For goodness sake! You have been acting since you were a kid. You deserve a break. Go for it. We look forward to you coming back and doing some awesomeness later, whether it be acting, directing, music or script-writing. But I hope it’s on the movie screen cuz I wanna see what crazy role you will take next. Or maybe you will take time out to write some more for Dead Man’s Bones with Zach Shields. That would be great because my kids and I have played your debut record out. It’s worn right through. Seriously.
So take a break. Have some normal looking babies with someone who is the love of your life and your intellectual equal. Or write music, or just take time out to travel and sleep in and read. I don’t see the big deal. We will miss your crazy, stupid, talented face. But I have faith the acting bug has bitten you and you’ll be back.
Til Later Mr Ryan
To watch Lose Your Soul: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ceDS4ztDjo
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