People seem to pigeon-hole each other. I grew up in a small town and by the time I was ten years old my identity had been locked in. I was the shy and nice one. I was the shoulder to cry on occasionally. I tried to change my identity in my teen years but others would say “Oh, that isn’t you at all,” then giggle and add, “What are you thinking?”
I find that people do that to each other. I see it all the time. I used to move around quite a bit. I was often plunked down in to groups full of life-long friendships. Not knowing what the person was like before the moment I met them, my truths were built from the second that I started to learn their story. Yet, often there would be someone there that was an old friend to my new friend. The person that I met would seem like one thing to me and a completely different thing to the person who had known them for years. You see, that old friend would always think of this girl I just met as the “down to earth, serious one” and maybe the girl I met would seem to me a “carefree, musically inclined one”. But the evolution of this person was lost on the old friend.
It’s like weight loss. If you see a person every day you may not even notice they are gaining weight at first….or for a long while. Yet, let’s say you leave for a year and come back and that person has gained weight. It will seem like an enormous change. It’s the same with friends trying to change the person they were or become a bigger person. Sometimes you just have the idea of who they were or who they should be so stuck in your head that you don’t see the change, don’t wanna see it or don’t let them change by pulling them back in to situations where they act like their old selves….
it’s a curious world we live in.