My son, Hunter, came into the world quietly and without fuss. He was already a rule-follower- it was time to be born, so out he came. The doctor said it was the easiest delivery he’s ever done and that I should have more babies. I assured him we were done- 2 is perfect for us.

That night, they took Hunter to the other room so I could sleep until he needed a feeding. Unfortunately, my hospital room was across from the nurses’ station and the ice machine, so I didn’t sleep much at all. When the nurse brought Hunter in, she said,

“This handsome boy and I have been having quite the conversation. He’s a talker! So many repeated little noises and coos. It’s as if he’s talking in his sleep!”

Hunter continued to “talk in his sleep” for the first 3 months. I ended up turning the baby monitor down so I would only hear if he was crying. He slept well and fed at regular times almost right away. Hunter was his little independent self from day 1. Every time I looked into his sweet baby eyes, I was sure I saw an old man’s soul. He seemed to know more than he was letting on and often seemed deep in thought, like a philosopher or scientist from days of old. I could picture him in velvet garb, a fountain pen in his hand, bent seriously over a manuscript- even as a baby.

Except for (what felt like, constant) feeding and some playtime, Hunter’s favourite thing was to be naked on his tummy on his playmat, alone. He loved to sit and observe. Occasionally he would laugh at some private joke or play hide-and-seek by himself. Hunter was a strong baby- lifting his head, grasping and rolling over quite early. He was a fairly quiet baby and interesting from the start! Again, I felt that all-consuming love for this little being and couldn’t believe he was all mine. Sometimes, my heart was on fire with feeling because I was so lucky to have two amazing souls in my life. I would look at Hunter and Isabella and think, “I can’t believe I MADE them, from scratch, in my own body!”

At 9 months old, Hunter stopped breast-feeding. He was starting to be more curious and distractible, so I switched to using a nursing cover in a private, dimly lit room of the house. Eventually, he tired of that, too. One day, at just over 9 months old, Hunter carefully twisted out of my grasp, rolled down my legs and started to inch-worm his way further from me, towards the door. I tried again. He did the same thing. On the fourth try, I gave up and we swapped to bottles and solid food.

As he got older, we noticed he was ahead of his peers in reading, vocabulary, and reading numbers. His kindergarten teacher taught him how to use the computer so he could research Chinese culture rather than learn the ABCs. However, Hunter was way behind his peers in: managing emotions, showing emotion, gripping a pencil, cutting with scissors, kicking a ball, or riding a bike. At recess, he would stand on the sidelines and observe.

His grade 1 teacher had the same experience and said he “may be gifted- not bright, but gifted” and told us that would continue to make parenting more complex for us. Also, she cautioned, there’s often a “trade-off” and that maybe we should have him tested to see if he had “something- maybe Autism”.

We didn’t get Hunter tested until he was in Grade 4. The psychologist told us he is highly gifted and highly autistic- but also very high-functioning. Hunter’s high-functioning traits and giftedness masked the signs of autism, which is why we felt so back-and-forth on it for so many years. You can read more about what that diagnosis means for Hunter on the post “An Open Letter to Friends About our Son’s Autism & Gifted Diagnosis“.

Hunter loves books and is the keeper of facts. He can remember 90% of what he read (ever) and the exact wording & Hunter will correct you if you get the wording wrong. He has a thirst for knowledge, powerful focus when he’s interested and the driest sense of humour. Rules are to be followed, facts are to be memorized, and schedules are supposed to be visual, updated daily, and followed exactly.

Hunter says he will live with us forever, doing scientific research or architectural drawings in his basement bedroom. He thinks maybe he will live off of honey toast, microwaveable pizza and warmed milk. Whenever he says his plan out loud, it makes me laugh.

It’s taken parenting courses and a lot of trial-and-error to see what works best for him as far as school, outings and daily routine. I get why the autistic symbol of choice are puzzle pieces. Hunter is a complicated puzzle and we are so proud of all of the pieces that make Hunter uniquely him. He’s complex and amazing and we love him so much.

It’s been a pleasure to be able to introduce my son to you. 🙂