My Daughter’s Confidence.

My daughter is amazing. She is smart, fiery, caring and forward-thinking. She is a champion of causes and a voracious reader. She can be opinionated and is quick to anger, but those propel her forward instead of letting her give up. A professional once told us she is, “Highly attuned, highly sensitive and impulsive” and was quick to point out that these are GOOD things, when that energy is directed properly, which we agree with.

Isabella on her way to a Girl Guides sleepover.

My daughter also struggles. She struggles with trusting her instincts. She has a lot of negative self-talk that stems from her perfectionism. She has high expectations for herself and a specific plan for each day. When it doesn’t work out that way, she resorts to calling herself stupid. This worries me greatly. We are working on it and we have had a lot of professional helpers who have given us ideas on working through it with her. I am willing to send her to therapy again if this continues. I see it and I worry about depression in her, since depression runs in our family and is something I have struggled with. Although I don’t see depression as a weakness, I want her to find her voice to express her emotions in a healthy way, instead of adopting self-destructive habits. Self-destructive habits form when we view getting help as a weakness, or certain emotions as “bad”, and I want to teach my daughter the opposite.

I love her so much and I don’t want to change her. She is amazing the way she is: her anger fuels her determination, her perfectionism makes her work harder, and her imagination builds worlds and makes us laugh.

I have an eye on her. And lately, it seems to be working. She has more positive moments than negative moments. I think a lot of that is keeping her distracted. She is now in rec hockey and Girl Guides, which take up enough of her time that her brain doesn’t go into worry mode. I am overjoyed when I see her confidence improving- Thank goodness we are all aware in this family and all on the same page so we can help her build on that.

Do you have a child with a similar personality? What helped or didn’t help? 

Keep reading:

Isabella the Future Hockey Star

Isabella’s Room Redecoration

The One Thing I Do With My Kids to Make Them Happier and More Confident.


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