My daughter is 6 and over halfway through Grade 1.
She’s extremely empathetic and seems to thrive on routine and expected outcomes. She seems outgoing but has trouble expressing what she really needs from another person. (Which sometimes has her coming across as a pushover).
One thing she has come to expect is how everyone in her class relates to each other, the personal relationships everyone has formed with each other, and when that shifts she feels like a tiny sailboat being rocked by a gigantic storm and thunderous waves.
Today was no exception. One of the girls in her class that she counted as a friend is snubbing her. She sing-songs about parties that she has been invited to when she is near Izzy when she knows Izzy has been left out. She gives other girls in the class, mostly in Izzy’s close knit group actually, presents of stickers and glitter and loom band bracelets. This girl and my daughter used to be tight. NOw it feels to Izzy that this girl is deliberately trying to lure her close friends away from Izzy and lavish attention on everyone except my daughter.
Around the same time this shift happened a couple of new faces, both boys, joined Izzy’s class. She quickly became friends with them. Simultaneously, the girls started forming a group. They huddle on the playground in a circle and shout,
“NO boys allowed, girls only!”
when the boys come to talk or play with them, or tease them I would guess.
Izzy sees this exclusion as a travesty. She doesn’t like it at all. Her instinct isn’t to see it as a special get together to giggle and smile about. She sees it as what it is: exclusion, snobbery, and a division. Why should girls think they are so much better than the boys, to the point where they won’t play or talk to them at times?
Also, she spends a lot of time with two of the boys that seem very popular in her class among the girls and this may be causing a bit of jealousy, but I can only speculate based on what my six year old mentions to me.
I cannot believe this is starting already.
I told her some people have trouble being friends with everyone and that this girl is probably just giving a bit more attention to these girls (who are more girly than Izzy and may have more in common with her) for now. That it may shift back to her in the future and, even if it doesn’t, she should continue to put her own attention and love to the people who give the same attention and love back.
How’d I do fellow moms? I will have to ask moms who have older daughters how they have dealt with this. :/