The Most Important Thing We Need to Teach Our Daughters

What do I feel strongly that my daughter must know to make her world her own, her heart strong, her head successful?

Be a compassionate listener. Do not sit there waiting for your turn to speak. Do not think you know everything about that person’s situation or relationship based on one emotional conversation. Truly listen to people and they will for you. It’s good advice for both personal and business conversations. Good leaders have been good listeners, trust me on this. Do not assume that the person wants advice. Maybe they just want you to listen to their opinion. Maybe their opinion will change tomorrow and they will want you to hear them that day too. Give them advice if they want it but make sure you leave it open to their own interpretation and make them provide their own solution. You do not want blame if your opinion turns their whole world around in a negative way, and if your advice is the right stuff to get them going in a positive way still keep it to yourself if they didn’t ask for it. They will get there on their own eventually.  Being a good friend is not easy.

You are a girl. Most likely, you will be compassionate and want to be a good listener. You will probably care about people’s opinions and not want to step on toes. Do not worry about this. Be yourself but don’t push your personality or opinions on other people. Be opinionated in a kind way. You do not have the ABSOLUTE ONLY ANSWER. There are other opinions. Hear them and consider them. At the same time, do not speak in a wishy-washy manner. Be respected by respecting yourself. Say “I believe”, not “i feel”. Don’t say “i think”, say “it’s my opinion” . Especially if you  aren’t thinking out loud, but know what you are saying or truly feel that way! Basically, don’t apologize for having opinions. Don’t be bullied or be a bully.

You are perfect. Did you know Audrey Hepburn, who many consider to be one of the most beautiful women to ever live, thought her face shape awkward, her mouth silly and her eyes too big? She said she didn’t hate these traits. She wanted to be aware of them to know how to make them work for her. It was part of her business as an actress to closely evaluate how she looked physically. We should all embrace that thought. Our quirks are beautiful. Work with them, not against them.  If you grow up thinking you will look waif-ish like Audrey and you are actually athletic such as Venus and Serena Williams, or curvy like Christina Hendricks then no amount of anorexia will get you there…. or self hate, or whatever. So….Be truthful of who you are and what you look like  and embrace it. Remember that models are photo-shopped and don’t believe everything you read.

You are worth that one great romance. Life is not the movies. It won’t be easy and there will be compromise and self growth along the way. But even mad you won’t hate that person. You will want to make it work no matter what and you won’t want to leave. You won’t stay mad for long because your heart, like the Grinch’s , will have grown 3 sizes the day you met him or her. Romance rules and you deserve it. Always believe in it. Fairytales are not all crap. People who say that do not leave themselves open to finding that great love. Is there only one fated love for each person? There may actually be a few. Look for them and stick with one.

Be open to possibilities. Do not stay rigid in your plans.

Be athletic. Your body and mind will thank you.

Never stop playing.

Speak up and be clear about what you want.

Only be competitive with yourself. There is no point in wasting energy competing or comparing yourself with others, especially other girls. Do not suffer through energy sucking relationships or frenemies. Find those few, sweet kindred spirits and stick with them always, through thick and thin.

Be honest with yourself. Be honest with others within reason. When you are crappy to yourself or someone else, apologize and be honest about your mistake and move on.

Jealousy is a waste of time.

Everyone has gone through something. No one comes out unscathed. Do not judge people by the way they look. People all have their tragedy they have lived through, even the silver spoon suburb brats. Which may be you someday! lol.

Never forget how to laugh one of those belly laughs that come from deep down in your gut and leave you breathless with tears in your eyes. Those are the best kind and the best stress relief.

I love you daughter.

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